Thursday, November 19, 2009

growth

Day three with the new tutor didn't start out very well. In his best imitation of an irate teenager or Civil Rights protester, Martin refused every proposed activity. He yelled. He fell to the floor. He ran away. He cried. It was not a good morning for our neophyte tutor. We supplied encouraging words, assuring her that Martin struggles against anything (or anyone) new. We told her to try the activities that already interested him rather than pushing new ones. It was not a good morning.

At lunchtime, Martin somehow realized that the world and his new tutor were not against him. The two of them went to the library for awhile. When they returned, they did some activities together. When it was time for her to go, Martin told her that she could take her coat off and stay longer. Three hours earlier he was yelling at her at the top of his lungs. He almost made the poor girl cry. And now, all sugar. I cannot figure it out.

Every day, I have the urge to cave. I just want to give in to Martin's demands. Not only because I know he's having a hard time, but also because it would make my life easier. It's easier to avoid new things than to go through the elaborate orchestration of making a new thing Martin-friendly. Even so, I have to do it. Martin simply has to get used to his new tutor. He simply must do new activities with her. There will be no growth otherwise.

3 comments:

  1. It always is a stuggle for Martin as well as all others involved when you introduce something new to him. Changes are not easy for any of us and so for Martin it is even more confusing at times. I just want to wrap my arms around all of you but I can't so for now I say thank you for being the loving, caring parents you are.

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  2. Amen, Joanne! Martin has amazing supportive parents! Keep going Jen! You all are the best advocates that little man has and someday I think he will acknowledge that...he will tell you "Thank You for having my back and supporting me through all those new things!" -Jeanine

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