some days

I get enthused about ice skating success because the rest of life can get me down. Ever since Martin started his new school, he's been difficult at home. This is natural and to be expected. Martin is learning a whole new environment at school. He has a new set of expectations to navigate. It is no wonder that he gets home and crashes. And crashing has meant defiant behavior. Being physically rough. Getting loud. Refusing to do even the smallest thing we've done a thousand times. Like getting dressed.

Even though this behavior is normal and to be expected, I am not enjoying this period. In fact, I'm fed up with it. I'm tired of struggling every morning to get this child dressed. I'm sick to death of Martin plowing over his sister for no apparent reason. I just want him to behave decently. For more than one evening. For a few days at a time. Is it too much to ask?

In fact, it is too much to ask. This is why I feel a little down these days. No matter what we do, no matter what approach we take, we must deal with the fallout of Martin trying something new. Of course, he has all sorts of stress, too. I haven't forgotten that. But we are dealing with the seemingly irrational actions that have their basis in a child's experience of the world being a hard place to understand. I guess I'm having a hard time understanding, too.

I'm posting a picture of Martin and his sister at the Toledo Zoo. From this image, you'd think the only thing wrong in this kid's world was the bad haircuts he endures at the hands of his mother. The image obscures all the difficulty and sadness. It leaves out all the patience and heartache that this experience mandates. Moments like the ice rink and the Toledo Zoo get me through. But some days it seems that they are not enough.