Tuesday, August 18, 2009
tom selleck
Before I had children, I knew that parenting would sometimes be hard. I figured that sometimes I would be frustrated, confused, wondering if I was doing the right thing. I never, ever anticipated that my life would sometimes look like a scene from "Three Men and a Baby." I never, ever thought I would be sitting at a dinner table with two screaming children, something cooking over on the stove, and the ground around me covered in watermelon and graham crackers. Really, just hand me the Hawaiian shirt and the mustache and I am Tom in that awful movie. Not the overly positive Steve Gutenberg character. But Tom. Just as strung out. Just as inept. Just as ready to throw in the towel.
Most days I try to balance the bad Martin stuff with the good Martin stuff. The meltdown in the bookstore gets canceled out by the good behavior in the doctor's office. The refusal to brush teeth outweighed by a polite word to a stranger. The smackdown of little sister....well, I'm not sure I can find an offset for that. And that's the problem. There are days when the bad so overwhelms the good. For things to even out, I'd have to start adding "didn't pee his pants" and "didn't run in street" to the good column. And then I have to remember, those things DO belong in the good column. They are things that Martin learned. They were difficult for him and he did it. And it makes my life and his life better because he did. So then the good does overwhelm the bad, even on days I feel like Tom Selleck.
I remain in awe of your chocolate cake baking, sermon preaching, peach canning, laminating, course teaching, empathizing, rogue state awesomeness. You are the real deal and everyone that has the pleasure of getting to know you even a wee bit knows it! And I know you won't let all these compliments go to your head and if you ever give me your address I might send you some Nabokov and a Martini Mixer and some little girls barrettes (well at least the barrettes.)
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I swear the Selleck state is one all moms go through. It feels horrible but it won't last. Do try to remember the places you feel (and ARE) competent.
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